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All the English You Will Ever Need


The English language is constantly evolving, both the words we use and the rules that control the usage of those words.  Therefore, it is impossible to ever have a definitive grammar guide, or, if you will, a Complete Guide of American English.  And that’s our excuse.



Word of the Every So Often

May 24, 2019

squire:  (verb, not the noun version)  for a man to escort a woman.  Lord Basil squired his mistresses into the room, and Lady Basil squired them out.


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Tuesday, June 30, 2015

Conspiracy or Coincidence:  The West

Do you realize the initials of our three western-most continental states spell “Cow”?  You can’t make things like that up, you know.

12:32 pm pdt 

Thursday, June 25, 2015

Everything Always Turns Out for the Best

Well, possibly, but only if we are constantly re-defining what is “best.”  It was best that the old man finally died, given that his life had become a living hell of pain.  It was best that he grew old, given that nobody wants to die young.  It was best his young wife left him and took all his money, what little he had, given all the friends he found while living under the bridge.  It was best that he never finished school, never had a steady job, never had a meaningful relationship, never had jack squat, was addicted to heroin, and had every STD known to science, because he was such an inspiration to all the others who never wanted to end up as pathetic as he was when he died.  So, yeah, things do always turn out for the best.

11:16 am pdt 

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

The Clichés Just Keep Coming:  Dropping Like Flies

OK.  Seriously.  Have you ever seen a fly drop?

10:00 am pdt 

Thursday, June 4, 2015

Don’t Judge:  Another Worthless Cliché 

Good luck with that.  Yeah, we’ve all been told that we shouldn’t judge others, but try getting though a day alive without judging whether that car is really going to stop at the crosswalk, whether your buddy is sober enough to drive you home, or even whether that sandwich is safe to eat.  Seriously, if we never judge anybody, then there is no law and order... at all.  And if we only leave it to God to judge, then a lot of us are probably going to get judged by God a lot quicker than we were planning on.

11:03 am pdt 

Monday, June 1, 2015

Conspiracy or Coincidence:  Seedless Grapes

Think about it.  How can you have grapes without seeds?  This isn’t a matter of that whole chicken-or-the-egg thing.  It really doesn’t matter which came first.  What matters is that you have to have one to have the other.  That’s just the way it works.  Unless, of course, you’re cloning them.  And why would anybody want to clone a grape?

1:04 pm pdt 

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