Tuesday, September 29, 2015
10:11 am pdt
Ever notice how McDonald’s doesn’t have small drinks anymore? Sure,
they have cups that are the same size that the small cups used to be, but now they call that size a “medium.”
In so doing, they have created a logical impossibility. You cannot have a medium unless you have a small and a large.
Why did they do that? And we all know by now, if there is a question that doesn’t have a logical answer, or if
you don’t like the answer that you get, then it must be a conspiracy!
Tuesday, September 22, 2015
8:53 am pdt
Nooks and Crannies:
Like many clichés, this one’s redundant as well. A nook is pretty much the same as a cranny: a small place that offers seclusion
or security. So if they mean the same, why is it we can’t use one without the other? By golly! We’re
going to find those car keys. I’ll look in all the nooks, and you look in all the crannies.
Tuesday, September 15, 2015
9:51 am pdt
The Facts Don’t
True, facts don’t lie, but then again, they don’t tell the truth, either.
It’s because “facts” are inanimate. They don’t do anything other than exist. And that’s
why it’s truly pointless to even say something is a “fact.” For instance: It is a fact that
I’m being redundant and using a cliché when I say “it’s a fact.” And that’s no lie.
9:23 am pdt
Thought of the Every So
don’t seem discontent that others must work harder than them, only that they must work harder than others. (Earl
Thursday, September 10, 2015
12:01 pm pdt
Everybody is Unique
The idea that everybody is unique has become a bit of a cliché, to say the least. And, like most clichés,
if you analyze what you’re actually saying, you quickly realize just how silly it is. If we are all unique, then
“uniqueness” is a common quality we all possess, and being unique becomes average, making nobody unique. The
entire concept of being unique is that it only works if everybody can’t be unique. True, you could argue that
everybody is different, but being different does not make you unique.
And while we’ve got “unique” on the spot, it is a
word that requires no modification. You can’t be “very unique” or “sort of unique” or
“just a little unique” or what have you. If something is unique, then that’s it.
Wednesday, September 9, 2015
8:48 am pdt
A Third ‘Till
When referring to time, we say it’s a quarter ‘till the hour, or it’s half past. But we
never say it’s a third after four, for instance. Why is that? A third comes between a quarter and a half,
but we just skip right over it. I don’t know about you, but I want to know why!