the English You Will Ever Need
The English language is constantly evolving, both the words we use and the rules
that control the usage of those words. Therefore, it is impossible to ever have a definitive grammar guide, or, if you
will, a Complete Guide of American English. And that’s why we're not even trying anymore.
Hey! What happened to the Guide?
To both of you who have noticed the difference, yes, the Incomplete
Guide has changed... just a little bit. The Incomplete
Guide to American English was originally designed as a support site for college classes. Since I am no longer
teaching those classes, then nobody is routinely coming to this site, so it seems rather pointless to keep updating it.
Therefore, I've kept my favourite parts and mothballed the rest. For instance, you can still find the list of
Words That Will Make You Smarter here, but if you want to find The Word of the Every So Often, you'll have to go to The
Holy Grail Press's main site. You're only a click away: Click.
Until I find something better to do with this site... yeah. This
Or, If You're Still Jonesin' For The Guide....
Wednesday, December 12, 2018
8:52 am pst
It's hard to find a parking lot where the business hasn't posted a sign announcing they are not responsible,
be it for theft, vandalism, or general mayhem. Well, good for them! I think I'll do
that, too. I can put a bumper sticker on my car saying I'm not responsible for anything that might happen
while driving and texting to my friends about how drunk I am, or anything else for that matter. I could
put a sign on my house saying I'm not responsible for any accidents or violent attacks by pets or in-laws. Or
I can just put a sign on my back – or even better! a tattoo! – that says I'm not responsible
for anything. Ever. "Yes, your honour, I did run those nuns off the road,
which set the orphanage on fire, all while running from the police after robbing the Git N Gone, but see the tattoo?"
the thing, folks. Just because you say you're not responsible doesn't mean you're not. If
anything, it means you know a problem exists, which should make you even more responsible. You know that
a customer's car is probably going to be broken into before she even gets to the door, but instead of improving your security
you stick up a lousy sign. I'm sure that brings comfort to your customers. "Yeah,
my car's been stolen, but at least the store's not responsible. Boy, I wouldn't want that.
I would hate that they'd have to do anything more to ensure my safety while shopping here than to put up a lousy sign."
while we're at it, putting up a sign saying that you "reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" doesn't mean
you have that right. "Nope. We don't serve Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, Non-Native Americans,
Episcopalians, Libertarians, Jews, Jehovah Witnesses, anybody with an accent, Southern Europeans, Northern Europeans, or anybody
named 'Jim.' And I have that right. I got a sign that says so. And if you make a fuss, I'll shoot you.
I won't be responsible for that, either."