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All the English You Will Ever Need

 

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The English language is constantly evolving, both the words we use and the rules that control the usage of those words.  Therefore, it is impossible to ever have a definitive grammar guide, or, if you will, a Complete Guide of American English.  And that’s why we're not even trying anymore.

 

 

Hey!  What happened to the Guide?
 

To both of you who have noticed the difference, yes, the Incomplete Guide has changed... just a little bit.  The Incomplete Guide to American English was originally designed as a support site for college classes.  Since I am no longer teaching those classes, then nobody is routinely coming to this site, so it seems rather pointless to keep updating it.   Therefore, I've kept my favourite parts and mothballed the rest.  For instance, you can still find the list of Words That Will Make You Smarter here, but if you want to find The Word of the Every So Often, you'll have to go to The Holy Grail Press's main site.  You're only a click away:  Click.

Until I find something better to do with this site... yeah.  This is it. 

 

Or, If You're Still Jonesin' For The Guide.... 


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Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Not Responsible

It's hard to find a parking lot where the business hasn't posted a sign announcing they are not responsible, be it for theft, vandalism, or general mayhem.  Well, good for them!  I think I'll do that, too.  I can put a bumper sticker on my car saying I'm not responsible for anything that might happen while driving and texting to my friends about how drunk I am, or anything else for that matter.  I could put a sign on my house saying I'm not responsible for any accidents or violent attacks by pets or in-laws.  Or I can just put a sign on my back – or even better!  a tattoo! – that says I'm not responsible for anything.  Ever.  "Yes, your honour, I did run those nuns off the road, which set the orphanage on fire, all while running from the police after robbing the Git N Gone, but see the tattoo?"

Here's the thing, folks.  Just because you say you're not responsible doesn't mean you're not.  If anything, it means you know a problem exists, which should make you even more responsible.  You know that a customer's car is probably going to be broken into before she even gets to the door, but instead of improving your security you stick up a lousy sign.  I'm sure that brings comfort to your customers.  "Yeah, my car's been stolen, but at least the store's not responsible.  Boy, I wouldn't want that.  I would hate that they'd have to do anything more to ensure my safety while shopping here than to put up a lousy sign."

And while we're at it, putting up a sign saying that you "reserve the right to refuse service to anyone" doesn't mean you have that right.  "Nope.  We don't serve Blacks, Asians, Hispanics, Native Americans, Non-Native Americans, Episcopalians, Libertarians, Jews, Jehovah Witnesses, anybody with an accent, Southern Europeans, Northern Europeans, or anybody named 'Jim.'  And I have that right.  I got a sign that says so.  And if you make a fuss, I'll shoot you.  I won't be responsible for that, either."

8:52 am pst 


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