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All the English You Will Ever Need

 

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The English language is constantly evolving, both the words we use and the rules that control the usage of those words.  Therefore, it is impossible to ever have a definitive grammar guide, or, if you will, a Complete Guide of American English.  And that’s our excuse.

 

 

Word of the Every So Often

October 14, 2019

scrofula:  (noun)  tuberculous of the skin, which is really nasty and causes all sorts of nasty swellings and skin lesions.  Well, son, I'm afraid Scruffy has the scrofula.  His only hope now is to be petted by the King.

 

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Thursday, October 10, 2019

Are You Sure?

The other morning, the radio guy warned me (well, not me personally) to avoid a stretch of Highway 30 up by St. Helens "at any cost."  What are we talkin' here?  If it's just because traffic is jammed, heck, I'd be willing to drive up there and sit in traffic for a couple hundred bucks.  Cash on the table, I'd probably do it for less than that.  Let's see... it's about an hour round trip from my house to St. Helens, and if I had to sit in traffic for an hour, at $50 dollars an hour... plus gas, and then I want some profit out of the deal.  Yeah.  It's going to take at least $200.  If it's more than just a traffic problem, though... Once again, what are we talkin' here?  Has a Kraken come out of the Columbia River and it's eating cars as they go down the highway?  If that's the case, yeah, you couldn't pay me enough to go up there... maybe.  I mean, how much are you willing to pay?  I'm not risking my life for $200, that's for sure, but for $200,000?  Maybe.  Half a million?  Well....  A million?  Yeah.  Where's the car keys?

7:56 am pdt 

Tuesday, October 8, 2019

The Clichés Just Keep Coming!

 Countless

As in: There are countless times that I've told students not to use clichés.  The thing is, they are countable.  Just because I'm too lazy to count them doesn't make them "countless."  Even the stars and grains of sand can be counted.  It may take awhile, and it may not be worth the effort just to say you've done it, but they can be counted.

 

"More Than Happy"

What?  Are we now all speaking in New Speak, where we no longer have adjectives to express emotions that go beyond mere happiness?  "Gee, Mildred, when I'm around you I'm Double-Plus Happy!"  If you're more than happy... then what are you?  To aid in your lack of vocabulary, we here at HGP offer the following synonyms:

ebullient, ecstatic, elated, electrified, excited,  exhilarated, exuberant, jovial, joyous, jubilant, overjoyed, thrilled, blissful, delighted, euphoric, breezy, festive, jolly, cheery, cheerful, fun-loving, triumphant, celebratory, enchanted, and charmed. 

2:03 pm pdt 

Friday, October 4, 2019

We're All Unique in Our Own Ways

Yes, and water is wet in its own way.  So nice of you to clear that up. 

8:53 am pdt 

Tuesday, September 24, 2019

Even More Advertising Nonsense:  The Ultimate in Wi-Fi!

There is a cable company currently offering "the ultimate in wi-fi experience."  The "ultimate wi-fi experience" means that's it.  This is a far as it goes.  It's never getting better.  Yeah, it may be good now, but the one thing for certain about technology is that it advances.  Just look an any old television.  It was once cutting edge.  Now, you probably can't give it away.  So if that company is never improving, my advice is not to sign a long term contract.

3:58 pm pdt 

Fun With Clichés:  I Couldn't Be Happier

Are you sure?  Do you really know your limits on happiness?  Like happiness can be measured?  And you've measured it?  "Well, Bob, I'd like to be happier, but that's as far as it goes." 

If you must use such a trite phrase as this, for McTibbet's sake, don't sell yourself short.  If, say, it's buying a new truck that you couldn't be happier about...  Boy, that doesn't say much for your wedding day, or the births of your children.

3:43 pm pdt 

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