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Wide-eyed Willie Sings the Blues

Got No Reason

Wide-eyed Willie was the most depressing man alive.

Just lookin' at Willie and his droopy eyes
and his three day shave all speckled with gray
and his forgotten clothes mismatched and misbuttoned,
would ruin anyone's good mood.

And if you weren't in a good mood to begin with,
you just weren't gonna be,
not with Wide-eyed Willie around.

"And now you know why
Willie sang the blues."

Well, not really.
You see, Willie sang the blues
because there's nothing else that someone so deeply and chronically depressed
could get paid to do.

Now you may be wonderin' why Willie had the blues...

"Why Willie had the low down rain in his shoes,
no dentures in his dead so he can't chew blues."

Well, I'll tell ya.
I don't know.
Not really.
I mean, there was nothin' big,
like his woman runnin' out on him
or his dog dyin' or anything like that.
Best I can tell,
he just woke up one mornin' and started thinkin'.

"He started thinkin' about dark things,
about stark things,
wonderin' what the weather might bring things.

"And he just got starker and darker
than an indigo marker.
And before he was through,
ol' Wide-eyed Willie had the blues."

Real bad.

So Willie spent his evening sittin' on a stool
at this little dive on the south side called Pappy's Pool and Lounge,
holdin' this broken guitar that had no strings
and mutterin' out the poorest excuse for music
that anyone has ever called the blues.

Let me tell ya now:

"He sang the blues.
He sang the cat's got the flu,
and the dog's got it, too,
and I'm sad through and through,
wouldn't you be, too?
He sang the blues!"

I wish I had a guitar;
I'd show you how the melody goes.

Now anyway,
you might think ol' Wide-eyed Willie sounds pretty bad,
and I don't reckon I'd argue with you,
but that was the sort of thing the folks down at Pappy's just loved to hear.
So while Willie sat on his stool mutterin'
they strolled on by and dropped spare change
in this old, broken felt hat that Willie always laid on the floor.
And at the end of the night he took all that money home
and stuffed it in his top dresser drawer.

Now let me tell ya what happened.
One day Willie got to wonderin'
just how much money might be stuffed in that drawer.

"Ol' Willie started to count
and he came up with an amount
that made him stop and say, ‘Whoa!'
And a voice in his head,
‘Say, Willie,' it said,
‘Son, that just a whole lot of dough.'"

Uh huh.

So Willie got to thinkin' just what he could do with all that green.
And anybody who's ever had that problem
knows it ain't much of a problem to have.

"The more Willie thought,
the less blue Willie got;
it's the most amazin' thing you ever saw.
The sky came out sunny,
all cuz Willie had money,
and Willie wasn't blue at all."

And that's the Gospel Truth, now.

In fact, Willie became the happiest man in town.
Willie became so happy
he changed his act down at Pappy's
to a stand up comedy routine.
You'll have to trust me on this,
but Willie was just pretty darn good.
Unfortunately, that wasn't the kinda thing that the folks down at Pappy's went in for,
and Willie bombed big time.

Now Willie wasn't no financial genius,
but he was smart enough to know
that if he didn't keep money comin' in,
pretty soon it would all go out.

So Willie tried to go back to singin' the blues.

"I've got the blues because I've got nothing to sing the blues about,
no doubt."

See what I mean?
It just didn't work.

Well, it wasn't long before ol' Wide-eyed Willie
had done gone through every last penny he had.
And then there was no more -
not comin', not goin' -
cuz not only was Willie broke,
but Willie had no job,
and pretty soon he'd have no place to call home.

Then he'd be livin' on the street.
sleepin' on his feet,
with the rain fillin' up his shoes.
And the more Willie thought,
the more Willie got -
the more Willie got the blues.

Oh, yeah!

So Willie goes stumblin' back into Pappy's Pool and Lounge,
just lookin' awful.
Lookin' like hell warmed over.
An' he climbs back up on his stool,
an' he sings out louder and clearer
than he's ever sang out before:

"I've got the brother have you tried,
deep Southern fried,
really makes you cry,
and you know that ain't no lie -
I've got the bonafide,
dignified, calcified,
no way to hide,
Brother I got the blues!"

Sing it!

And Willie didn't stop there.
No sir.
Willie just kept singing his blues on into the night.

And pretty soon the people started strollin' by Willie's stool
and droppin' their spare change in Willie's old, broken felt hat.
And at the end of the night Willie took all that money home,
where he stuffed it into the top drawer
of that old, broken down dresser.

But never again,
not once,
not ever,
did Wide-eyed Willie ever wanna see,
just how much cash there might be
pilin' up inside that old dresser drawer.

That's all.