The Holy Grail Press
Proudly Made On Earth By Earthlings
Word of the Every So Often
plalk: (noun) (rhymes with walk) derived from the Swedish portmanteau “plogging,” made by combining “jogging” and “plockka upp” (picking up). It’s picking up trash while you walk, which is an excellent activity for Earth Day. So grab a trash bag, your picker-uppers, and go for a plalk. The environment will love you for it, and you’re sure to piss off a few conservative assholes while you’re at it.
The Almost Daily
Aside from being Earth Day, it’s also National In God We Trust Day, commemorating that very American phrase. Once again, though, we’re celebrating a “holiday” on a day that has nothing to do with what we’re recognizing. On no particular day, the phrase “In God We Trust” was first printed on a two cent coin in 1864, then on all coins in 1873, then on folding currency in 1957. “In God We Trust” became the National Motto by an Act of Congress on July 30, 1956, undoubtedly in response to the Cold War and those godless commies. The motto has been controversial ever since its inception by those who contend that it is a national endorsement of religion, which goes counter to the Constitution. Yet, it remains.
There is a reason why Earth Day is celebrated today, though. It was on this day in 1970 that the first nationally organized environmental demonstration took place. The planners chose today because it was between spring break and finals, and that way they could be reasonably assured that a lot of students would participate. And they did. 20 million of them. Not only was it the impetus of the Environmental Protection Agency, but it also sparked a global awareness that still exists today.
Cartoon of the Week
“That joint’s so pulluted that even the pollution’s polluted.”
Stuff
Time and Temperature
It came as an epiphany.
The bank’s time and temperature wasn’t wrong.
It was actually telling what the temperature
was going to be
tomorrow at 6:17 p.m.
It was a window into the future.
Perfectly useless for most aspects of life,
except maybe planning a picnic,
but nevertheless,
a chance to see what had not yet happened,
what was going to happen
28 hours and 16 minutes from now,
any now.
So instead of going to work one day,
I just sat in the bank’s lot
and watched as it cooled off tomorrow evening,
down to an overnight low of 63,
before it started to warm up again at sunrise,
day after tomorrow.
It was only after I’d been there for over a day
that I noticed the parking lot was full of other cars
with their occupants doing nothing else
than watching that digital readout.
One guy here,
two guys there,
even entire families
sitting in rapture
over what tomorrow’s weather was going to be.
I think it was finally hunger
that made me abandon my spot,
which was quickly filled by one of the cars
circling the lot,
hoping for someplace to land.
At times I’m tempted to go back,
just to see,
just to know.
But that intersection has become so congested
that it would add a full thirty minutes
onto my commute,
and I don’t want to leave any earlier,
and I can’t afford to be late.
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