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Word of the Every So Often

superincumbent: (adj.) lying on top of something else, usually not comfortably; oppressive; dictatorial; brutal. The whole country was feeling the superincumbent reign (or rein – either works) of the president, and he’d only been in office a month.

The Almost Daily

Today is Atheists’ Day. It’s supposed to be a day just for Atheists who miss out on all the other religious holidays. Those of us here at the Press, with the exception of the Reverend Bidwell, have no problem with Atheists, though it’s hard to imagine anybody who can be so certain of anything, the Reverend Bidwell included.

As the story goes, way back in 2003 somebody wrote a fictional story about an Atheist who sued the US Government because there were no religious holidays for Atheists, while there were plenty for Christians. In the account, the judge sided in favour of the Atheists, and awarded April 1—April Fools’ Day – as their national holiday. As it seems is increasingly the case, people actually believed the story was true... probably still do... probably are gleefully posting it online as we speak to show how those non-believers got put in their place. So the Atheists adopted April Fools’ Day as their holiday. Except, of course, for those who refused to believe in a national holiday.

But then, just because they could, I suppose, back in 2019 not just all Atheists, but all Atheist allies – everywhere – (whatever an Atheist’s ally is) decided to make the 23rd of March their national holiday. I’m told the really devote Atheists celebrate both March 23 and April 1.

All that aside, the best way to celebrate National Atheist Day is doing nothing. I mean, it sure as heck isn't a Holy Day of Obligation. There’s nothing you have to remember. Nobody’s going to ask you to recite anything. On the upshot, nobody’s going to ask you to give the blessing before dinner, either.

So here's my question: When a Christian is killed in a car crash, it's common to put a cross up at the site. Assumedly, Jews can put up a Star of David, and Muslims can put up the Cresent Moon. What do Atheists put up? And while you're pondering that, think back on all the crosses you've seen on the roadsides. Christians must be lousy drivers. Just sayin'….

Cartoon of the Week

STUFF

The Ballad of King Bob and His Horse Bill

This is the story of Wise King Bob

and his stead and companion Bill.

They rode not to pillage and rob.

Rode not to murder and kill.

They rode through country and county.

They rode o’er hill and dale

in search of the sacred bounty,

in search of the Holy Grail.

They traveled through wind, snow, and rain,

through mud and sleet and hail,

through locusts and plagues, untold of pain,

Chevrolet lug nuts and two-penny nails.

Through blackened night and driving sands,

blizzards and buzzards and hoary frost,

through Krsnas and Vishnus and bad rock bands,

and cold spaghetti without any sauce.

For seventeen years they traveled this way,

until finally Bill had had enough.

He sat down on the road to stay,

and said, “Boss, it’s time to get off.”

Said Bill, “My hooves are tired. My back is sore.

I’m ready to go back home.

If you want to carry on some more,

you’ll have to carry on alone.”

Good King Bob would not falter.

He continued on his quest.

So Bill laid down his halter

and returned to his home in the west.

When Bill arrived at the castle,

how the subjects did dance and sing.

Being without a king was a hassle,

so they made a horse their king.

King Bob traveled on many a year more,

‘till one day at a church rummage sale,

in a discount pile on the floor

Good King Bob found the Holy Grail.

Good King Bob, his quest complete

returned the way he came.

Bill gladly gave back the Royal Seat.

To the people it was the same.

And the Holy Grail... it came to rest

beneath a leaky window pane.

And there it does its very best

to collect the falling rain.

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