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Word of the Every So Often​

cwm:  (noun)  (pronounced:  koom, more or less... it’s Welsh)  A cwm is one of only two words in the English language that’s only vowel is a W – the other is “crwth.”  A cwm is a geological feature, where ancient glaciers have hollowed out a circular valley of sorts... kinda like an natural ampitheatre – a really big one.  So... you can play your crwth in cwm by the light of the moon.

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The Daily Holiday

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Today, May 22, is the birthday of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle (born in 1859), who, of course, gave us the indefatigable Sherlock Holmes, his trusty sidekick Watson, and the supervillain and archnemesis Moriarity.  And that makes today Sherlock Holmes Day!  The first Sherlock Holmes novel, A Study in Scarlet, was published in 1887.  In all, Sir Arthur only wrote three more Sherlock Holmes Novels – The Sign of the Four (1890), The Hound of the Baskervilles (1902), and The Valley of Fear (1915).  There were, though, at least 56 short stories about his famous detective.  The last Sherlock Holmes’ story was “The Adventure of Old Shoscombe Place,” which was included in The Casebook of Sherlock Holmes, published on June 16, 1927.  Doyle went out of print (figuratively speaking) on July 7, 1930.  So on today, in honour of Sir Arthur, you can read one of his books.  Or, you can watch a movie or a show… there’s a few to pick from.  Sherlock Holmes is the most portrayed literary character in film and television history, appearing on screen at least 254 times, and that was back in 2012.  So, I guess, if you really want to celebrate Sherlock Holmes in style, you could figure out how many times he’s been on screen since then.

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Cartoon of the Week

20 The Usual Suspects.jpg

The Usual Suspects

STUFF

The History of the Future:  The End of Higher Education

 

The Acting Class Class Action Lawsuit originated in the Marshfield High School in Marshfield, Missouri, in the spring of 2032.  Soon they were joined by over two million students across the United States, all of whom were incensed over having to take Drama in their Junior year of high school.  Said one student, “Hell.  What’s the point in this?  I ain’t ever gonna be no actor!” 

 

It took over two years for the case to work its way through the court system, but in October of 2035, the Supreme Court, citing that it was not necessary to be educated in order to make an educated decision about education, agreed in favour of the students.  Justice Clinton, in writing for the majority, stated, “I never wanted to take those useless classes, either.”

 

Citing precedent, the case was applied the following year to Narvel v. the University of Wisconsin,  where it was ruled that not only did students not have to take any class that wasn’t directly related to their major, but they didn’t have to take any class that they already weren’t very good in, or just didn’t like.  In essence, what the court ruled was that all that was necessary to earn a degree was to be able to do one’s job, and nothing else.

 

The Birmingham Amalgamated Steel Corporation V. Alabama State University, further defined by Gorman V. Luxor Aircraft Manufactures, determined all that was necessary for a degree was for a person to be able to perform a small portion of a job.  Knowledge of the whole was superfluous.  For instance, why would somebody need to understand aeronautics if all they were going to be doing was putting rivets in a wing?  As far as that goes, why would that worker even need to know how the rivet gun worked when all that person really needed to know was where to aim it and how to pull the trigger?

 

By the fall of 2040, almost all major universities and junior colleges in the United States had disbanded, many of them being converted into condos.  Most historians cite the landmark court case in Florida in 2038 for the near total demise of higher education.

 

Stated one education official in Florida, “Hell, if all we’re doing is training these kids to work… I mean, how much do you really need to know to operate a drill press.  Heck, as long as you can reach the pedals, then how hard is it to drive a truck?”  It was shortly thereafter, that Florida changed its mandatory education age from 16 to 9.  Commenting on that decision, one legislature stated, “Most of us was for 8, but them little guys really have a hard time running a forklift at that age.”

 

Having children work at such a young age, as expected, was a hotly debated issue.  That issue was resolved with The Child Labour Act of 2041, which stated that if a person has finished her or his education, then that person is technically no longer a child, and he or she not only should be expected to work, but not working was seen, as further defined by the courts in Widbey vs. The US Textile Industry, as putting an unnecessary burden on those taxpayers who do work.  Therefore, it was agreed in a unanimous decision by the Supreme Court in 2043 that every US citizen who had completed the third grade was compelled to work.

 

It was further ruled in the summer of 2044, in West Virginia Ore and Mining Company V. Grudensen, that setting limits, either maximum or minimum, on how much a company was forced to pay their employees, as well as how long those employees should be allowed to work, was an unnecessary intrusion into the work place by the government.  The same session also saw the repeal of workplace safety laws.  After all, where one worked was a choice made by that person, the employee, and any conditions that existed in that place of employment was therefore agreed to by the employee.  Besides, it should not be the responsibility of the government to mandate how any business should be able to operate the most efficiently.

 

There were limited attempts at revolution by the workers, but most failed simply because any given worker only knew how to do her or his specific job, and nothing else.  Stated one government official, “Gees Louise, if the bus didn’t take most of them home they’d wander aimlessly on the streets.  Most don’t even know how to boil water, and if they do, then they really don’t know what to do with it.  And the guy that knows what to put in that water, really doesn’t have a clue on what to do with it when it’s done.  You see, it takes everybody working together.  On our own, it just won’t work.  But isn’t that how a democracy should work?”

MORE STUFF

It’s that time of year when frogs are all glad to be frogs, and not afraid to croak.  A whole bunch of frogs is an army, or a colony.  After they hatch, frogs are, of course, tadpoles.  In that in-between stage – between being a tadpole and a frog – they’re froglets.

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