The Holy Grail Press
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Word of the Every So Often
protean: (adj.) (pronounced: pro-tee-an) able to change frequently and easily. The protean nature of the administration’s foreign policy left everybody without a clue of what was really going on.
Everyday History
On October 7, 1954, the first Godzilla movie was released in Japan, and then to the rest of the world on November 3, 1954. Over the years there have been 38 “official” Godzilla movies, including more modern versions, and, of course, all the originals. Here at the Press, our all time favourite is Godzilla vs. Gigan. You see, there are these space invaders, who are actually giant cockroaches from another planet, and they want to take over the earth, so they summon Gigan and King Ghidorah to conquer the earth... and... and.... OK. It’s just silly. They all are. Especially the earlier ones. Godzilla is obviously attacking models and toy army men. And they’re not very good models at that. But the Japanese loved them. And they loved his roar.
To the Japanese, Godzilla represents the trauma from being nuked twice in World War II, as well as the Japanese Tuna Boat, Lucky Dragon Number 5, that, in 1954, got coated with radioactive fallout from the Bikini Atoll nuclear test, killing one crewman and seriously injuring everyone else. In short, the Japanese don’t care if the movies are campy. It’s probably more assuring that they’re not too realistic. And it’s Godzilla. Yeah, he may attack Japan, but he’s always there to save it, too.
It was in February of 1978 that The Blue Öyster Cult released their single “Godzilla,” which was from the album Spectres that was released in the previous November. Having little to do with BOC, it was on November 29, 2004, that Godzilla got his own star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Cartoon of the Week
“’Amazing Navigational Skills’ my ass! Admit it. We’re lost."
Stuff
History of the Future: Tagging
It was on December 4th, 2028, that Seattle shop owner Felix MacGoogan, tired of the nightly “tagging” of his business’s outer walls by rival street gangs, just left cans of spray paint outside for them to use. Said MacGoogan, “What’s the point of even trying? I paint over their graffiti in the morning so they can put graffiti over my paint at night. Besides, what do I care what colour it’s painted? Paint is paint. And this way, I don’t have to do it anymore.”
Soon neighboring businesses joined MacGoogan and left paint out as well. Shortly thereafter, the entire city stopped trying. Seeing shop owners set out paint cans at closing became a common sight during the winter of 2029. It wasn’t long, though, before the gangs couldn’t tell their graffiti from even their own. Said one gang member, “It never really made much sense, anyway, but this is ridiculous.” The only way they found to stake out their territory was to completely paint the businesses in solid colours with tastefully coordinated trim. The practice quickly spread, and before long every gang in the city spent their evenings painting local businesses.
Said a former shop owner, “You never knew what colour the shop was going to be each morning. Sometimes it would be red, sometimes blue. You never knew. But they always cleaned up after themselves.” Indeed, it became a sign of power to have the best looking blocks. Soon roving bands of youth were brazenly planting shrubberies along the sidewalks. The sound of a weed eater was common at night.
In the spring of 2030 officials from other cities began arriving, trying to recruit Seattle’s gangs to come to their towns and wreck all the havoc they wished. Chicago and Indianapolis had limited success, but it never quite caught on.
Then, just as suddenly as it began, it stopped. Said one gang member, “Hell, that’s work.” It wasn’t long afterwards that the city fell into disrepair. Having gotten used to not having to do any maintenance on their property, nobody did. Pleas were made to the city gangs, who had all moved to the suburbs and bought homes of their own. Perhaps DJ Weeder, the head of the Toro gang summed it up best, “Man, nobody wants to hang out in the city. That place is a dump. Besides, who’s got time? I’ve got a yard to mow.”
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