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Word of the Every So Often

hypoplastic: (adj.) If an organ is underdeveloped or not completely formed, it is hypoplastic. Yup. That’s pretty much it.

Everyday History

On November 12, 1954, the immigrant processing center on Ellis Island closed for good. Beginning with the Immigration Act of 1924, immigrant processing was shifted to the US consulates in the countries where the immigrants were coming from, mostly to save money. After 1924, Ellis Island was used less for processing immigrants and more for detaining and deporting those folks we no longer wanted.

The center first opened on January 1, 1892, and in its 62 years of operation over 12 million immigrants entering the United States were processed there, most of them before 1924, including my grandparents. And all of them were greeted by the Statue of Liberty, which remains impressive to this day.

Most of the immigrants arrived from southern and eastern Europe aboard steamships, a trip that could take anywhere from two weeks to a month. I’ve spent that long aboard a ship out at sea, and it gets tedious, to say the least, and my experience was far better than almost all of the immigrants, who lived in very crowded, stuffy, unsanitary conditions, with no privacy at all.

When they finally arrived on Ellis Island, they went upstairs to the Registry Room. Go there some time. Just look at it. Just imagine what it would’ve been like, filled with noise, packed with people just like you, in a new country... and you’re never going home again. And yet, there’s hope. After passing the briefest of physicals, answering a few questions about such things as marital status, and proving they could support themselves (which meant having $25 in their pocket), they were put on a ferry to either New York or New Jersey. Many stayed there, while others hopped on a train taking them to their final destinations, which was often family or communities in other parts of the country. It’s hard to find any major US city without a “Little Italy” or a “Chinatown” or even a “Little Belgium.” The immigrants sought some place with people they knew, or at least customs they knew.

Before 1924, only about 2% of the immigrants passing through Ellis Island were not allowed to enter the country, and it was almost always because it was determined that they would be a financial burden on the United States, either because of poor health or legal issues.

By the way, the Statue of Liberty’s actual name is Liberty Enlightening the World. The statue was a gift from France on our country’s one hundred year anniversary, which is why ”July 4, 1776” is written on the book held by Lady Liberty. The famous quote about giving us “Your huddled masses...” is mounted on a plaque inside the pedestal’s lower level, so you have to go inside the monument to see it, which requires a special ticket. The quote comes from the sonnet “The New Colossus,” which was written by Emma Lazarus on November 2, 1883, to raise money for a new pedestal for the Statue of Liberty. Ahh... such were the times.

“The New Colossus”

Not like the brazen giant of Greek fame,

With conquering limbs astride from land to land;

Here at our sea-washed, sunset gates shall stand

A mighty woman with a torch, whose flame

Is the imprisoned lightning, and her name

Mother of Exiles. From her beacon-hand

Glows world-wide welcome; her mild eyes command

The air-bridged harbor that twin cities frame.

“Keep, ancient lands, your storied pomp!” cries she

With silent lips. “Give me your tired, your poor,

Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,

The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.

Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,

I lift my lamp beside the golden door!”

Cartoon of the Week

Flies Under the Radar

Stuff

The History of the Future: The End of Sagging

It was in the summer of 2032 that the dress fashion known as "sagging" came to an abrupt end. As one fashion critic stated, sagging, which featured wearing one’s trousers no higher than somewhere well below the crotch, “was just taken too far.” A group of young men in Detroit began the short-lived fad of “dragging,” which was simply putting only one foot through one’s trousers and then dragging them as one walked. The fad lasted a little over two weeks before others, seemingly all at once, came to the sudden realization of just how fantastically stupid that was. What followed was the equally sudden realization of just how stupid sagging was, as well. And that was followed by what became known as “neo retro anti-sagging,” where the trousers were increasingly worn higher and higher in an effort to prove that the wearers definitely were not sagging, and that anybody whose trousers were worn lower than theirs was considered sagging, and that person was therefore what one fashion pundit described as “dweebified.” Wearing a belt around one’s neck was briefly popular, and surprisingly very few people were asphyxiated. The fad peaked with the adherents wearing their trousers so high that they had to unzip their flies to see. A few purists, who became known as “those assholes who keep running into everything,” refused to peek out of the fly, stating that it was demeaning. The height of one’s trousers suddenly became irrelevant by the spring of 2034, when the craze of church hats – a miniaturized, sanctified steeple that one could wear on one’s head, and thus be in church always – captured the public whim. See Eldridge’s concise history of fashion, How Dumb Can We Get? (Holy Grail Press, 2034)

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