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Word of the Every So Often

hypnagogic: (adj.) (pronounced: hip-nah-gaag-ic) relating to the state immediately before falling asleep. It’s that fuzzy period between being awake and being asleep. I was just getting all hynagogic when you turned on the lights.

The Almost Daily

It’s National Niagara Falls Runs Dry Day! Yup, it really did run dry, on March 29 in 1848. Ice blocked the Niagara River, reducing the 3,160 tons of water that usually roars over the falls per second to all but a trickle. Depending on where you’re standing, the falls fall between 70 to 188 feet, and is about half a mile wide. However impressive, Niagara is well down on the largest falls’ list. The tallest falls (3,212 feet) is Angel Falls in Venezuela. Iguazu Falls, between Argentina and Brazil, is the largest system of falls (270 feet tall and 8,858 feet wide). And the world’s widest falls (35,376 feet) are in Laos, the Khone Phapheng Falls. So here’s the thing. I’ve been to Niagara Falls… but I never saw them. It was late, dark, and we couldn’t hang around… and I missed them. Everybody else in the car saw them. But not me. But that’s OK, though, because I didn’t miss Iguazu.

Cartoon of the Week

“Let me get this straight. After we have sex, you’re going to eat me... but we are having sex...?”

STUFF

Bad Fortunes

I’m a Chinese food junkie.

Carry out.

3 to 4 times a week.

Egg rolls, moo goo guy pan,

cashew chicken (Springfield style, of course),

and fortune cookies.

Especially fortune cookies.

So here’s the deal.

I started noticing

that something just wasn’t right with the fortunes.

You know, the ones you read and then say,

“What kind of fortune was that?”

Fortunes like,

“I’m trapped in this dead end job!”

“Send help!”

“Is this the best I can do with a college education?”

and “I expected more out of life than this.”

You get the idea.

And the more of these I read,

the more I realized

that they were either a pathetic cry for help

or a unique way to get published.

But either way,

it doesn’t really matter.

Because just as suddenly as they began,

they ended.

You know,

they became stupid stuff like

“Beware of paper dogs running backwards”

and “Fear the man who claims to know.”

I imagine the guy got canned.

I mean, you could pretty much see that coming.

But the bad thing is

now I’ll never know

just how his story might end.

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